Falling in Love, again

Let me begin at the beginning.

I met my first love in Xth standard. It was the summer vacations and I had plenty of time. My first impression of her was favorable, though my attitude was guarded. It certainly wasn't love at first sight. Others around me didn't really have a good impression of her, and told me so. Never one to judge quickly, I decided to form my own opinion. And how glad I am I did that! As we gradually began spending more and more time together, I realized things about her that others missed. She was special, and only I could see it. We spent hours together and even silence between us communicated eloquently. When I wasn't with her, her thoughts filled my head. I wanted to know everything about her, and as I did, the strength of my feelings for her grew.

At the same time, I was preparing for IIT-JEE. That limited the time I could give her, but I knew she understood that. She always understood. After painstaking efforts, I finally got admitted to IIT. She was a big factor in me achieving that. Whenever I doubted myself, she restored my faith in my ability. I really cannot imagine doing it without her.

I had never really thought about what would happen to our relationship after that. Perhaps I wasn't really aware of the strength of my own feelings back then. Or how rare it is to feel like that about someone. I assumed someone else would probably come along and I would soon forget about her. That didn't happen. If anything, being away from her, and not being able to see anyway to bridge that distance, only increased my feelings for her. I tried to hide my pain by mingling with others. But none could capture my imagination the way she did. I ended up comparing everyone with her, and they all fell far short. My relationship with these new others suffered. I became convinced that I could never love someone else as much ever again. Whoever I did end up with might be wonderful and all that, but she wouldn't be her. And that would make all the difference.

Having accepted this sad fate, I moved on in life. Got admitted to IIM Kozhikode. Though the beautiful campus provides a perfect backdrop for a love story, it was the last thing on my mind. And then I met her. As before, it wasn't love at first sight. But after seeing so many others who just reminded me of how they weren't her, here was one that made me forget. They are similar in many respects, and perhaps why I have been so smitten. Once again, most around me had a bad opinion of her, but I didn't let that colour my judgement. There are also differences. She is friendly with a few others and they too claim to like her. What I do know is that my feelings for her are genuine.

Its really early days in our relationship, if I can even call it that. Maybe its just a crush that will pass, and we'll go our separate ways. Maybe my feelings are entirely one-sided. Maybe fate will once again play the devil and part us. Maybe I am once again headed for a crushing disappointment. Its too early to tell. But whatever the outcome, I will savor every moment I have spent with her.

(To know who I'm talking about, click on comments!)


  1. First love: Physics
    Current crush: Economics


    I turn from a romantic to a nerd!

    Do leave comments!

  2. Dude dont hide your feelings behind Physics and Eco, tell the truth na.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. arslan.aziz7: new post :)

    positivelyconfused: i have read the first line..i will read forward only if you confirm that 'she' refers to a girl...or atleast a human

    arslan.aziz7: lol..

    positivelyconfused: and not some subject or object or animal

    arslan.aziz7: too obvious haan?

    positivelyconfused: boy!
    thats not a girl??
    write about some girl..dude

    Sent at 7:03 PM on Wednesday
    arslan.aziz7: first get me a girl, i'll write bout her.. :)

    positivelyconfused: try..its not as difficult as it might seem

    Sent at 7:03 PM on Wednesday
    positivelyconfused: i am reading it anyways

    arslan.aziz7: kya? bina ladki ke kya likhun?

    positivelyconfused: are nahi yaar..
    getting a girl is easier than it might seem

    arslan.aziz7: here?? lol.. :)
    pehle padhlo..

    positivelyconfused: anywhere...i guess
    good god!!!
    about JEE
    of all the female things in the world...
    you chose a stupid exam???

    arslan.aziz7: abey, pehle poora padh to lo..

    positivelyconfused: i am reading on...
    thank god..its not jee

    arslan.aziz7: God!!, u thought i was in love with jee??
    that'd be really anserine of me..

    positivelyconfused: thats why..thank god
    i almost broke up friendship with you

    arslan.aziz7: lol..
    u might just still do that :P

    positivelyconfused: oops
    our friendship is doomed

    arslan.aziz7: :)

    positivelyconfused: no frienship survives if two friends fall in love with the same thing

    arslan.aziz7: haha :)

    positivelyconfused: i am telling you from personal experience

    arslan.aziz7: same thing chalta hai... same person nahi..

    positivelyconfused: maybe...let me try this time with the same thing
    i dont know who's courting physics these days

    arslan.aziz7: support ke liye kuch comment mein likhdo.. logon se bahut galiyan padhengi :)

    positivelyconfused: tell you the truth...my heart still beats for her
    yeh apna chat hi likh deta hoon

    arslan.aziz7: physics?

    positivelyconfused: yep

    arslan.aziz7: :)
    gud to know..

    positivelyconfused: more like mechanics....the 'physics' of JEE

    arslan.aziz7: yup, exactly.. though i luved electromagnetism, relativity etc as well..
    and i've a great great amount of interest in astronomy..

    positivelyconfused: hmm...
    i am seriously considering to sue you for copyright violations

    arslan.aziz7: lol.. told u na.. u steal my points in cp!
    this is revenge..

    positivelyconfused: haha...you can have all the revenge in public..you are the only one between the two of us who owns a blog

    arslan.aziz7: 'first mover's advantage!' :)

  5. dude.. you might be the guy writing a girl romantic poetry (some day)

    but, definitely not pasting it on his blog!!!

    fell for it, nevertheless :)

  6. i was wondering who could be a girl to whom one can fall in love in PGP12 so quickly :) good post :)

  7. Kindaa fugured it out in first few lines itself... thoda jyada obvious ho gaya tha :P

  8. @all:

    Nice to see the variety of comments. :)
    Some seemed to have figured it out right at the beginning (shivam & vaibhav), while others still believe there's something between the lines (maverick & others).. :D

  9. Knowing you as well as I do, I knew it was physics that you are talking about... ladki aur tum ko?!...need to work hard on that bro... but as your loyalist I will say this... nicely written...

  10. Ahhhhh ... It was a good read ...
    But a bit more balls man - divulge the name(s) :P

  11. For a second i thot maybe...then i realized u r in IIMK..all marketing strats A**hole! Anyways..it had to be something like physics and all. But for me physics and economics are pukka "male". I wonder wat that makes u!

  12. @admiral fagin:

    If it was about a girl, her name would've been the title! Also, I read ur blogs, about the missed calls and all.. No names there either!

    If physics and eco are 'male', what are 'female' questions according to you?

  13. typo in the above comment:

    'female' subjects, not 'female' questions

  14. mathematics any arts subject. In anycase its sad..u write a blog about love and its on economics and physics and hw economics is helping you get over physics! Sigh!
    Anyway good work in the fantasy league!

  15. Hey Aziz... You are god, man!! One of the best blogs that I've read!

  16. fisrt love - physics
    Second - Economics...
    If this is the prognosis, then dude you are way above the mere mortals like us... :P

  17. since last few days I was reading your status message...today I found enthu to digg up..
    initially I really got surprised to know few lines...
    but after first para...I started thinking about too much of suspense and few lines..
    "I wanted ......my feelings for her grew." also the JEE one...
    but again some lines made me think...no no...there might be some girl..."I tried to hide my pain ....imagination the way she did." etc...

    anyway, its well-written and at the end of it one get the idea that they are definitely not girls...but they may not guess the right subjects.. :P

    looking forward for your next post...
    keep blogging...

  18. @ gandhi, nikhil & alone dreamer:

    Thanx! :)

  19. lol.... great stuff !

    Was wondering why you don't have a blog...

    Keep writing!

  20. Which comes first?

    Physics/economics or women?

    Both are evil..

    i prefer economics...women don't deserve internet space;)

  21. @hk
    Thanks :)

    Due to the absence of women in my life, its not really a choice I have to make. But if you push me to make a choice, all I can say is that at least physics/eco will never break your heart! :P

  22. nice post Arslan...... trying to misguide ppl in thinking that ur love are subjects? :P ....... Do update later on how strong ur "relationship" became :)

  23. @AKS: Lol.. You can find the update at: http://arslanaziz.blogspot.com/2008/11/love-update.html

    and thanks :)

  24. uh..thank goodness those werent real people. Because if they were, you would be the biggest loser in the world to let someone you love just slip away from you without even you letting her know, not once, but TWICE!


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